why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
Its ok we found him,,, He is in the bathroom trying to write his life story on a roll of toilet paper.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
I made a Russian puke. I outdrank a Russian. I am unstoppable.
Its a first. Never been peed on in a line to concert. First time for everything.
She kept telling me it was a squirtgun.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
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