it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
Just saw remains of her puke from last night on my pants.... thats got "Apology BJ" written all over it.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
I get credit on the assist, you can thank me by taking a pic of her ass under the covers and sending it to me. It would make my YEAR
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Randomize
