Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
my life trainwreck boards at 9:30
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
You ass. You're not the one who bought me flowers, so obviously you will not be the recipient of the blow job of gratitude.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
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