So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
I could fuck to npr.
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
not ubering you a puppy
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
Randomize
