Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
I have no idea. I think this is what happens when people take drugs in the middle of the day
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Randomize
