Hahahaha do you think bella ever gave edward head?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
His housemate was playing a sad violin solo for me on my way out. God I hate musicians.
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
I woke up and he already had a joint rolled waiting next to the bed. Love.
Randomize
