when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I just convinced a girl to drink my spit cup cuz I said it was dark beer and would get her drunk faster. I dare you to try something better.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
I fell asleep in the tanning bed, naked, for an hour and a half and I guess they couldn't wake me up so they called the fire department...and they came in while I was passed out naked...
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
just saw the most amazing side boob. i wanted to hold it.
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