The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just sold a pizza for the ability to listen to spice girls.
they had a keg party to fund her abortion.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
I believe I won the Golden Vodka Bottle of sadness last night for crying while being party boyed.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
She kept talking about how amazing the banana she had yesterday was. Don't know if it was innuendo, stoned, or just a really amazing banana.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
