My grandmother just called to say she disowned me. Apparently I uploaded a video to Youtube of me dancing nude with a blow-up doll named Dorothy, last night. You are so fired from being damage control.
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
I touched a dick in church today
Dude how much would someone have to pay you to get you to slide your vagina across a bald man's head because Honestly I'd do it for the experience alone. but money would be nice too\n\nI'm thinkin like 500 bucks. Maybe 700
Why are you like this.
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
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