FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i think i'd rather have a trophy of a like jizz stained curtain or something
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
New bet. First person to fuck their girlfriend and narrate the whole thing in Morgan freemans voice wins. You are disqualified if she asks you about. My girlfriend is on her rag. U have the headstart. Your move...
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Pretty sure I just pissed straight whiskey...
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