I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I told him we can only be friends from now on & he said he knows but that I'm the 'best he ever had'.
you slept with him again didn't you
you can't just quote Drake AND compliment me at the same time & receive nothin. he knows me too well
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I just woke up naked clutching a Taco Bell bag.
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
Is there like a dick file on me? Guys can't hold two dicks anymore?! Who are you people????
His crazy is a thing to be cherished
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
