Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
I will miss his soup and his dick the most
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
The last thing I remember from that party was me shouting "hold my feet I'm going in strapped like Rambo"
I think I heard my penis growl. Wanna do lunch?
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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