You are an awful beat friend I am goin to die in a car accident and then my corpse is going to be used by criminals ala weekend at bernies to rob a bank then my corpse will go to jail Thanks john Thanks for nuthin
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I feel like I could be a daytime drinking legend, like they could put that shit on my tombstone and right now your preventing me from reaching my full potential
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
Leaving the phone at home last night was the best decision I ever made.... Though I still managed to text her and now I have 2 phones...
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
pls come over. need ride to hospital once taquitos are ready
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
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