So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
miscarriage! now THATS a gift from god.
an ex called crying about her current BF. convo ended in phone sex. i love emotional wrecks
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Hon, I found you crying into a bathrobe in the back of a closet with a broken shoerack.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
Randomize
