Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
Just bonged a beer from a vuvuzela...this place is only doing good for me
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
She lost her glasses and we found them on the roof. Don't ask questions. Kings cup was intense last night.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
I think I met somebody from your birthday this past weekend. He said I held a push up contest outside the bar and told them I would make out with the winner. He said he won..
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
It's gonna be like a sexual version of A Christmas Carol in my house in a few days.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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