Which one of you FUCKERS filled the toilet with soil and planted my mothers daisys in it? NOT FUCKING HAPPY
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
My roommate was being an ass so I put everyone's drinks/shots on his tab for the entire night. Then when we left he was telling me how he got out cheaper than last time.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
You threw up a gallon of vomit. I really have never seen anything like it in my decade of partying.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
God is tempting me with everything tonight. Brownies and dick, mostly.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
oh dont worry mom i am not sick my cough is from a recent increase in recreational drug use
that will happen
Randomize
