i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Now that my 6 day bender is behind me, I just realized I might have been the one who took a shit in our mailbox that past few days.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
Randomize
