Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Stealing vibrators from Walmart together was when I realized you'd be my Maid of Honor.
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
Be there in 20. Want icecream?
sex. I want sex. I like where your heads at though.
There’s so much sex at the hospital I’m beginning to think scrubs were invented to make duty booty easier
Randomize
