hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
she is legit wearing a plastic bag around her neck as a necklace. she says it serves two purposes.
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
Randomize
