haha omg you stole $185 from a passed out drunk indian on your porch and called the ambulance??
savin' lives aint cheap
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
The glockenspiel player has some booze though so hopefully the ride won't be that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i like how i just referred to his pregnant wife as the "other" melissa and you didn't even judge me.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
if the best thing you can say about him is "he probably wont kill me" you may want to rethink hanging out with him
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Checked my photo vault today... My self nudie folder is passing the 150 mark.
The weird thing is that you don't send them to anyone. You just keep them for yourself...
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
I'm actually kind of scared about the prospect of us living together. We're just going to eat pizza and drink wine before retiring to our rooms with vibrators
Nothing has ever been more true. Ever.
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Lol. I liked you the most when we were banging random girls and trying to tag team everything. You were happier then.
Randomize