she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
It was like little house on the drunk prairie.
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
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