I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I love you. And by the way. I found out a way for you to train your gag reflex. Elliot taught us in math.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
Is it weird to say that getting an std with you was kinda romantic?
I think drinking everclear was a better idea than taking a night class.
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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