my phone needs a breathalizer
Why can't we have signs that automatically flash on our foreheads that say not interested when gross ugly guys come around, like those glasses that get dark when the sun comes out?
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How many band members does it take to become The Band Slut? I think I might be dangerously close
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
You've got to be fucking kidding me. Do you think "Husband drunkenly pees all over floors" is reasonable grounds for divorce? So pissed off right now.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize