one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
Seeing Grandma lick chocolate sauce off of the male stripper was definitely not the way I planned to enter the world of legal drinking.
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
look, my penis is an amusement park, and it's closed for maintenance. why can't you just accept that?
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
