can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
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He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
This is literally engraved into my seat "Need crack?" And then there's a number. This isn't real.
Definitely just realized I wore a shirt that says "building leaders for Christ" to a hookup. Roll tide.
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
I have got to move on from this "sleeping with every drug dealer I meet" phase.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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