ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
the guy in front of me just bought a pound of bacon, a bouquet, and a case of budlight, i want to see THAT makeup sex
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
At some point during thanksgiving the image of me pooping on ur moms chest will come to you. Your welcome!
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
Okay so how much boob would you consider inappropriate for smart casual?
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
Randomize
