But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I peed sitting down because I knew standing was a lost cause
He was the highest I've ever seen. Almost had him convinced there are only three colors in the rainbow...
Does fucking him in the back of the car with the sun roof retracted count as star gazing?
Who in their right mind would frost a cake with their butt?
Randomize
