I wish I could still say I don't know that you taste like bad ice cream.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
hungover waitressing a bar association event. im being judged by actual judges.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I need dunkaroos back in my life.
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
While the cops were busting my party one of them said. O you have an Xbox? Do you play online? Whats your gamertag?....
I didn't really break out of the friend zone, as much as I blasted the doors off with high explosives and rode through on a grizzly bear...
Randomize
