hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
when I woke up the last searched thing on my phone was "how to make a fireproof dress" I need to stop drinking.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
Of dear god, I've been waiting to have rug burn like this since I got bored of my vibrator 2 months ago
So, I'm playing the Doctor Who drinking game with my dogs, but they don't understand quite when to drink. Still counts as successful, though, right?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I mean, I would have, but I couldn't come up with a logical reason to bring up oral sex during an orientation.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
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