Someone shit on the floor
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
I know it sucks but it's just something that needs to be done though. Like shaving ur pubes or going to the dentist.
Well I passed out before 4:20 on 4/20 so I deem it a failure AND a success.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
I shaved my entire vagina for a man who had the personality of a potato and a C- orgasm. Life is a series of disappointments.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I swear, the guy behind me wasn't paying attention until the words "middle aged fuckboy" came out of my mouth.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
