You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
the sex was good. her showing me pictures of her 4 year old daughter afterwards was not.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
