i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
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He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
I just had the most intense bikini wax of my life, i felt like i needed guardrails
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
So you'd go straight for a fat chick with cheese on her tits?
Yes.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
Randomize