Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
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The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
After my date left I rallied and took the Asian girl home. Flexibility my friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm allergic to vodka. Or people getting engaged. One or the other. I want to die.
Batteries died. I don't care that you're studying for the bar. Come over. Bring the law books and study after. I'll even make coffee.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
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