porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
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You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
As part of the off-hours team building exercises, I had my new coworkers figure out to push me back to the hotel from the nearby bars in a shopping cart every night for a week.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
guys with girlfriends don't have a leg to stand on when they get mad at you for fucking other guys
she doesn't even know what year it is. She just stumbles around life with a bottle of rum
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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