I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i love waking up at 5am with an imprint of a toilet seat on my chest
I woke up hugging a loaf of bread and a water bottle this morning
My face left an imprint in the loaf...
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just heard the girl at the bar cuss her bf out and order a long island ice tea. Going to give it 5 min then I'm going in. See you on the other side.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Pretty sure I'm partying in a onesie right now.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
Randomize