he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Do you think it's safe to mix miralax with a tequila sunrise?
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
We found him. He just came running out of the closet with a bruise on his face saying he has been fighting elves in Narnia for a year.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Randomize
