It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
No, we're smoking outside. We're hot boxing the world.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
Just found 2 diff. colored pubes in my underwear..new record.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Needing to keep one leg on the floor during sex so you dont spin should qualify for some kind of drunk award.
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
Honestly... isn't she a psych major? how does she go through life NOT realizing that everything she does is a cry for help?
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
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