I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
I am gifting my birthday sex to you, but its okay because I can always just have birthday vibrator.
His name sounds so important....sounds like the name of my future baby daddy to me.
Sending out old nude selfies with the message "#tbt"
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
My greatest achievement in life thus far is being the go to friend when you have questions about butt plugs.
i need some magic done to my vagina
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
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