I'm pretty sure that he just gave me the ginger disease
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
Sorry about the voicemail last night, people in hostel thought getting the clap from cheating on me wasn't enough and you hearing a 6 foot 5 Swedish dude bang the shit out of me was needed.
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
he can suck his own dick, i cant compete with that
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Randomize
