how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
That one life defining moment when you catch yourself pouring whisky into your hot chocolate at 4 am, whilst crying and talking to your dog.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
My husband found the cock ring I bought my FWB. I told him it was napkin holder and he believed me. And that’s why I need a side dick
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