I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I could hear his roommate in the background imitating my sex sounds...
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
You tripped over nothing.. everyone stopped what they were doing and stared..you stood up and yelled "you win this time gravity"..then started chugging someone's drink
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
