Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
careful of the bathroom.... theres some drunken ninja turtles in there....
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just walked into the supermarket puking into a plastic bag while wearing my favorite Bob Ross shirt. I am a human disaster.
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