he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I learned his name tonight. This now makes him a real person. Obviously, I no longer want to sleep with him.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
We left at the same time. You got home three hours after I did and said you got your head stuck in a fence. I can't believe you don't remember this.
He is just lying there. People are throwing money onto his chest as they walk by...
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My roommate just google searched "cumming blood" using my laptop. Her boyfriend is in her room, she looks scared. Words cannot explain how hilarious this is.
Just had to tell a NYC cop I was doing the Dougie in a houndstooth jumper so he could find me in the security video.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
