I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
i soberly give you permission to do that to me when im drunk
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
We should never set our expectations higher than pizza bagels cause then our night is bound to get better
so apparently i worked out for over an hour last night. drinking is the only way i will ever get anything done
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
For future reference: When the bouncer is approaching you to remove you from his bar, you don't respond by taking off your pants.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
Randomize
