Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
Sitting naked in my bed eating leftover Mexican food drinking coors light.. Can it get any more single than this?
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
He offered me free drinks all night if I could beat him in a drinking race. I blacked out after that but just found his credit card in my bra so there's that.
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