Who wears a wallet chain?!
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
He was pretty out of it. He heard crickets outside, and thought it was the laptop. So he put his ear to it, rubbed the keyboard, and said "tell me your secrets."
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
We watched scrubs, then I got a shower blowjob which led to shower sex and the living room floor sex. Now she's baking cookies. I may not be studying, but I'm doing something right.
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
He couldn’t find my clit with a map. Literally. I drew him a map.
Randomize
