I just heard a teenager say to his friend "dats my baby! i was hittin her up on myspace like gurllll. she got me steamin". must have missed the memo its 2005 and we still use myspace.
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
I just remembered how awesome your handjobs were in 7th grade, you were a true champ, thank you
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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