yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
Mom's drinking. Just asked her if she was good to walk back to the condo. She seemed unsure until she remembered she brought the GPS. We are 2 blocks from the condo.
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Is it weird to smoke a bong with a client from work?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Randomize
