So guess who had sex in a Ghostbusters sleeping bag.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
It was like an ecstasy filled massage for my vagina.
That's the best compliment I have ever received.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
Randomize