I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
I woke up at 5am and he was watching me sleep... Come get meee!!??
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
member when we used to take shits together before volleyball games?
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
my paper on vitamins just turned into a 2 hour tangent google search on what i should buy to best cure a hangover. I need to stop getting high before homework
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
Pretty sure I got at least one girl to question her sexuality at the Christmas party last night
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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