Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
I come back upstairs and she's leaning over sink full of vomit saying 'oh my god it's the chili'
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I actually just took 17 pictures of some guy at the gas station that needs to marry me now
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
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