I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
