the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
woke up rolled in a yoga mat listening to enya. I'm never going back to Oregon ever again.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
Idk I'm drinking Sam Adams and wearing new balances so I'm basically a dad
I've had your balls on my face a bunch of times so the least you could do is buy a girl some dinner.
Randomize
