I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
Was just hit on by a guy with 2 kids and one was named Rocky. I need to get out of Buena Park.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
I hit her tiny dog with a horseshoe an hour ago. Her and her mom cried as it laid on the ground shaking. Im drunk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Guess who used an inflatable mattress to boat across a retention pond with brooms for oars and a radio and beer.
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
Yeah man... I ordered donuts, drank wine, and cried to a movie with Seth Rogen in it. Do you really think I have my shit together?
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
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