I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
That place is a DUI and an STD waiting to happen. I think I'll pass.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
Obviously. I'm here to let you eat things off my boobs and help you get laid.
Sitting in a music store. There is a 40 something year old guy in a track suit, with a boner, and playing the ukelelie quite intensely.
thanks for thinking of me.
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
