I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
Best news of the day: the hot chick at the funeral was NOT related to me... Thank god
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
Yeah, I've been trying to get him to eat healthier. Turns out he'll eat almost any fruit or vegetable as long I let him eat it off my body.
I feel like the only way to get him to stop is by telling him i'm tired from fucking our other friend every night this week
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
Randomize
