if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I'm going to see if it catches on fire again, then I'll make the decision.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
Just showered now I smell like berries instead of shame
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
I'm pants less watching buffy the vampire slayer drinking rum. I'm not that hard to impress
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
i got woken up by a cockroach crawling onto my hand and now i'm pretty sure i'll never be clean again
half way down the stairs my legs said fuck this and i just fell the rest of the way...
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
Randomize
