I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
Would it be a good deed to leave a 32 pack of bud light next to a bum sleeping in the park?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
I'm going through what feels like a break up with beer. I'm emotionally distraught from it's lack of presence.
Is it a problem if I'm trying to condition Goodbye Horses to trigger an erection?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
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