I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
no offense but you looked like shit yesterday
tequila is unforgiving..
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
