just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
so many types of cookies right now. i'm eating four kinds of cookies that i've made into larger cookie sandwiches. too high. whoa.
Gonna post on craigs list missed connections - "I was that really drunk bitch that threw up in your car. I'd like to pay for detailing"
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Haha! You know I mean that in a positive way. Like, "let them eat cake!" Or in our case, "let them achieve obesity from the two entree plate at Panda Express!"
i don't know why he's complaining, i'm the one with four hickeys on my ass.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
I just had to pick up my "let's drink and make bad choices" hat, my banana suit and beer pong table from work. Until just then I couldn't figure out why I got fired.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
It's such a sad loss when a hot guy finds Jesus and grows a neckbeard
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